HSP Tips - 6 Easy Small Talk Ideas
Feeling a sense of unease in more casual social settings is extremely common for HSPs. HSPs tend to prefer more in depth, meaningful discussion, which can make typical party or workplace small talk feel uncomfortable. For some HSPs, engaging in conversation that falls outside of the more interesting, in depth explorations can feel blank, empty, and pointless. Even if it is not our preference, it is difficult to create a life where small talk and socializing in a smaller group of people you do not know very well can be avoided. Below are 6 ideas for easy conversation topics that can be used safely with almost anyone.
Television Shows and Movies
Once a conversation is flowing, adding a question like “What shows are you watching lately? I’m really into ________” or “I saw ________ a few weeks ago, see any good movies lately?” are great ways to continue the conversation. Almost everyone has several streaming apps of their choice and is engaged in watching one or multiple shows, or looking to an upcoming season of a favorite show. Learning what types of shows others like may link to shows that you enjoy, and can lead to a nice, neutral discussion. Because there are elements in this of talking about things that you like, it does not have to feel boring and unimportant. Broadening this conversation can include an exploration of being more of a television or movie person.
2. Upcoming Plans
If things are feeling stagnant, asking about other plans the person has going on for that day, evening, or weekend can be an easy transition into a new area to explore. Asking something like “What else are you up to this weekend?” or “Any good plans for the upcoming week/holiday?” can strike up some more conversation topics. If you ask one of these questions, hopefully you can feel like you are in a place where you can also share an upcoming plan.
3. Pets
Asking someone about their pets is often one of the best ways to be welcoming of pleasant conversation. Most people (and probably you too), love talking about their pets and showing off the endless photos they have of them. Asking “Do you have any pets?” and/or “Can I see a photo of them?” usually makes others feel really comfortable. Animals tend to be a great unifier of goodwill and merriment. A great bonus for conversations is if a person has their pet with them - or if you are able to bring your pet to an event. Many folks love to come over and pet a dog, and having your pet with you might actually help you to feel more grounded during the socializing.
4. Travel
Lots of folks love to talk about past or future travel plans. Asking “Any upcoming travel plans?” or “I just returned from ____ last month, where have you been recently?” is usually a nice conversation topic. Talking about travel can feel freeing from the norms of small talk because traveling in of itself has a fantastical energy that falls outside of the perhaps more boring day to day. Hearing about the travel of others can also help you to create potential ideas for your own future travel. The possibilities for offshoot conversations are endless with this topic.
5. Location/Local Area
This topic perhaps requires a bit more effort to get going, but ultimately can help you learn more about where you are in the moment and can be quite interesting. Asking a question about someone’s familiarity with the location of the event or neighborhood/city where you are located can lead to some interesting conversation. Saying something like “Have you been to this restaurant before?” or “I’m not very familiar with this neighborhood/city, do you spend a lot of time around here?” is an easy way to learn more about people. This type of conversation can also branch off into talking about things you like or appreciate about the setting, including the environment and natural elements of the area.
6. Vulnerable Honesty
This is probably the most daring, but potentially, most rewarding tip to try out. If you feel ready, being honest about feeling awkward or uncomfortable in social settings can sometimes be a solid choice, particularly if you are able to use your HSP powers to get the sense that someone else may feel the same way. For example, at a work event where folks are being forced to mingle or network, saying something like “I don’t know about you, but I often feel a lot of pressure around creating small talk” can often relieve a lot of distress for you and others. Remember, even though HSPs may feel this discomfort the most intensely, many other people can often feel awkward with small talk. Having the opportunity to practice this type of vulnerability is great for your psychological growth.
Hopefully these tips are something that you can hold onto the next time you are in a social setting that feels awkward or uncomfortable for you. Remember that just because a social event can feel uncomfortable at the start, it does not necessarily mean that it will be a negative experience. Leaning into your discomfort slightly can help you on the path of learning and becoming more adaptive as an HSP.
